By Caro February 25, 2022
God asks us to be peacemakers. For that, you don’t have to agree with everyone. We can disagree with someone without putting them down or demonizing them.
As Christians, we are great defenders of the truth. But sometimes, this love for the truth can make us very legalistic and harsh when we are called upon to discuss with other people who believe something that does not agree with our convictions. Too often we see Christians vigorously debating opposing doctrines, each throwing different verses at each other, in an attempt to convince their opponent. These vigorous debates, fanned by the pride of each party, generally end in a division and demonization of the other. The debates of doctrines, the opposing opinions, never create the unity of the spirit, the peace, and the love for our brother or sister. That is why Paul encouraged Timothy not to get into these battles. “Remind them of these things, and solemnly exhort them in the presence of God not to dispute about words, which is useless and leads to the ruin of the listeners” (2 Timothy 2:14 NASB).
The ultimate truth is Jesus. “Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father except through Me” (John 14:6 NASB). So, when philosophy or a doctrine seeks to put a barrier between Christ and the human or imposes another way to enter into a relationship with God, it is necessary to speak out (1 Peter 3:15-16). Yet even in this context, it is possible to announce the gospel with grace and love without denigrating the other person.
If our brother or sister is attached to a practice that we consider useless, we do not have to debate. “Now accept the one who is weak in faith, but not to have quarrels over opinions” (Romans 14:1 NASB). We all have a different past from each other. God must fix or heal points in our lives before bringing us into another revelation. If God allows this or that weakness in a person’s life for a time because He has to fix another hurt first, who are we to confront them about that weakness? If they have a personal relationship with God, who are we to tell them to change this or that aspect of her life? It is up to the Holy Spirit to convince them, in His time (John 16:7-9). Our job is to support our brothers and sisters in their relationship with God, in their personal journey, and not to force them to imitate us in all things.
In the early church, there were also differing opinions at times. A divergence even separated the pioneering duo of Paul and Barnabas. But in this disagreement, neither demonized the other. They continued on their way and this made it possible to evangelize a larger territory (Acts 15:36 to 41). Your brothers and sisters don’t have to agree with you in everything to be united. If we bring Christ back to the center of our conversations, we will find that we share the same ultimate truth and therefore are united on a solid foundation. “I am giving you a new commandment, that you love one another; just as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all people will know that you are My disciples: if you have love for one another” (John 13:34-35 NASB).
Learn to share your opinions with grace and respect each other’s journey. Never force anyone to follow you in your beliefs. If your partner tries to manipulate you to go their direction, put on the brakes. You should never feel pressured into doing something that makes you uncomfortable. Remember you are not married yet! The woman does not have to submit to the man in a dating relationship. This is a stage where each of the partners is trying to see if the values of the other are compatible with their own. If there is significant dissension, it may be a signal that this relationship needs to end. But don’t stay too attached to your opinions(https://modeobservation.com/en/blog/2022/02/18/easily-offended/) either: who knows, the point of view of the other could shed new light on you and bring you a beautiful transformation. Being able to discuss with respect is a more attractive asset than having a confrontational spirit.