By Caro October 27, 2023
What has your devotional time been like lately? Do you spend loving times with Jesus or, if you find time to pray, is it out of obligation? Sometimes it’s good to stop and evaluate our hearts.
The passage is well known. “So when they had eaten their breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of Jonah, do you love me more than these?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I have affection for you.” He said to him, “Feed my lambs.” He said to him again a second time, “Simon, son of Jonah, do you love me?”He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I have affection for you.” He said to him, “Tend my sheep.” He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of Jonah, do you have affection for me?” Peter was grieved because he asked him the third time, “Do you have affection for me?” He said to him, “Lord, you know everything. You know that I have affection for you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my sheep.”"(John 21:15-17 WEB).
Many theologians like to point out the different uses of the word “love” here. We have Jesus asking Peter if he loves him, but using the Greek word “agapeo”. “Agapeo” love refers to a [feeling of loyalty, service, and deep respect][1] that we might give to an authority figure. But Peter responds with “phileo” love, which is a tender love, a personal attachment. It’s about cherishing the other person. Some theologians will say that agapeo love is deeper than phileo love, while others will say that it is just two different ways of loving. That is a beautiful passage to study with Bible commentaries!
But what we can also learn from this passage is, the importance of stopping and evaluating the state of our hearts with our Lord. Are you still in love with Jesus? That was one of the criticisms made of the church at Ephesus in Revelation 2:1-7. They did many works for God, but they had abandoned their first love. We all begin our salvation filled with gratitude and love for Christ. And this is natural because our love is linked to the forgiveness we receive from God. “Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much. But one to whom little is forgiven, loves little.” (Luke 7:47 WEB). Has our love changed because we forgot where we were when God saved us? Do we continue to practice repentance regularly, to fuel our flame?
Perhaps you have already felt the “agapeo” love that gives us the right motivations to serve Him. But like Peter, have you experienced “phileo” love? It is not easy to tenderly love a being we cannot see. The psalmist spoke of delighting in the Word of God. “How sweet are Your words to my taste, Sweeter than honey to my mouth!” (Psalm 119:103 NKJV)
When we think of tenderness, we may associate it with hugs, and we don’t know how to show tenderness to our Heavenly Father who is not physically in front of us. Perhaps this is also why we are not alone in our Christian walk: we are the body of Christ, and we can demonstrate tenderness to God by being tender to other members of our church. We cannot serve others in our congregation if we do not have this love within us. That is what the exchange between Jesus and Peter teaches us.
Don’t condemn yourself if you realize that your love is no longer what it used to be. Even when we are married, we will need to renew our love with our partner, because the busyness of life makes us lose sight of the essentials. The same is true for our relationship with God. Let’s stop and return to our first love. Or ask the Holy Spirit to teach us to cherish the Word of God like David, or love our brothers and sisters tenderly.